Bringing Back Romance

February has long been the month dedicated, devoted and designed around love. Seems only appropriate with all the candy, candles and chocolate around, that romance comes to mind. An ingredient often left in the spice rack after couples have children.

I know this challenge well. Having started the adventure we call marriage with a Valentine's Day engagement, I have had a decade now of being married WITH children. We had 5 years of just the two of us before our son was born, and without a doubt, romance was so easy, it was transparent, like was just there. All we had was each other.

Now with two children, two jobs, a ginormous dog and insurmountable "to do" lists , romance requires some conscious attention...and planning. I'm proud to say, we do make an effort.  We try at least one weekend a year away together...dinner once every two months...and make big deals out of our collective milestones: birthdays, anniversaries, etc. But, we could do a lot better.

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That being said, there was the time of "the great drought". When romance was nothing more than a memory, oasis, apparition...seen by two dead on their feet, sleep deprived shadows of two people who used to be in love. You know what I'm talking about - the months and years after your baby is born! You can barely remember your name, let alone your partners...and forget about their needs. It all gets buried in the diaper genie.

And once you fall into this abyss, it is hard to climb back out as an entact and in love couple. It requires great patience and understanding to get through it...and also, awareness and acceptance. Awareness, that this is a tough time (albeit wonderful with you new bundle), and acceptance, that romance will be of a trickle than a shower and that's okay. But, that's just my opinion.

There's a great article in February's issue of San Diego Family Magazine tackling this very subject. And coming up this week in my Anchormom report, I sit down with the woman who wrote it to find out how we can all navigate through these sometimes rough waters for couples.

Afterall, the very best gift we can give our children, is a happy couple for parents. Stay tuned...
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